November 6th, 2009
part of me that I want to change
WAAH! Lumindol! only for about 2 seconds, and you won't notice it, unless you're sitting still or looking at a cup of water on a table. Anyway it happened a couple of times before.
I'm at BOSTON Cafe, savoring their free internet service, unfortunately I left my charger at the dorm! I still have at most 2 hours till the battery's out. I'm actually waiting for someone. One of my orgmates actually, he's gonna copy some episodes of bleach.
I'm going to Makati today, because I don't want to see nor hear James. Yeah that's the main reason. :D But when I come back, I'll be enduring his very presence for the next couple of months. Its kinda like torture. But I'll get over it, hopefully, I'll get tired of running away. Maybe, he too, maybe he'll get tired hating me too.
I've been trying to escape. I'm like an escape artist. I'm able to escape from them for a few days now. I stay away from them. Well maybe sembreak hasn't given me enough time and space to move on and get over it. So I've given myself until my birthday. Then I'll have to face them again, only this time, I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same again or if we'll ever be the same again. All I'm sure is, I don't want to hurt them again.
What a sem it has been. I'm the reason why everything is like this. I keep on torturing myself. I could give advice to anyone who seems like me. I easily get annoyed with anyone who seems like me. But I never know how to stop being me. This the part of me that I want to change, that needs changing.
Posted by zachira at 11:17 AM |
November 4th, 2009
traumatized
I have become allergic to:
FACEBOOK
MULTIPLY
YAHOO MESSENGER
GLEE
GOSSIP GIRL
OST of GLEE
MUSIC (:C) (i used to love music so much!)
Because these are the things ... I have this mentality that it can't be mine ... as much as possible I don't want any of these, well except for music, well maybe some genre only, hehehe ooohh yeah i LOVE kpop! Well anyway because attached with these are memories I want to forget and mistakes I want to be forgiven with; and thus I have become traumatized.
WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could just should it all out, until there is nothing left! I wish I could have an amnesia! BUT hey, LIFE is not that EASY!
Posted by zachira at 07:23 PM |
need to shout this out! woohoo!
I'm worried all sick these past few days! It's like an anvil pinned to my head, like ball stuck in my throat, like sunglasses on a gloomy day. I mean HELLO! I'm a child of GOD! WHAT do I have to worry about?!
ALWAYS ALWAYS woorrying! I'm always good at giving advice, but I never give myself a good one!
I'm a child of GOD, I know that HE has plans for me, and I know that HE will not forsake me, nor leave me, so I must say in confidence, the Lord is my helper, what man can do to me?
Posted by zachira at 07:10 PM in College life, letters to GOD |
1st day makes me anxious
It's first day of classes on the 11th and I am forced to say hello to Psychometrics (lab), BMA2 (lab&lec), World Lit, Bio-organic Chem, and Social Psychology. I'm kind of excited for everything, most especially for World Lit which happens to be one of the lightest in the bunch. And unbelievably, I am excited for Bio-chem, given the reality that I hated Chem since I found out how it is taught in college.
Science subjects always make me want to ponder why I chose science over art. I could have taken AB instead of BS and I could have been doing a lot better now.
I never understood why new things excite me. And after they're not new anymore, I get lazy and unmotivated.
And I must say, Channing Tatum is hot.
Posted by subjunctive at 01:00 PM in School Drama |
November 3rd, 2009
As always
Habit ko na talaga ang basa-basahin ang mga nakaraan kong mga blogs. Nakaka-miss nga, eh. Feeling ko kasi, hindi na ko makulit. Mas seyoso na ako ngayon, I think.
Kailangang lumandi.
Posted by subjunctive at 01:35 PM in Just Sharing |
November 2nd, 2009
november comes, my last semester
It's november! Another semester. My last semester.
I don't know how to start all over again.
But I'm sure GOD has set up everything for me. What more can I ask for? I'm happy knowing my saviour. So whatever will happen, will happen for a reason, and the reason is for His glory. :D
Posted by zachira at 12:49 PM |
Just saying
I wouldn't call myself plastic cuz there's a better way of explaining why I don't show some people my real feelings towards them. Yes, there are plastican moments pero I wouldn't use such term. It's just that some people are just not fucking worth it. It would be a loss of too much energy if I go bitch in front of you. So if you think I'm plastic and if I never admit to you that I hated you since Day 1, I just think that it would be a waste if I show the real me, be myself, yeah yeah the fucking cliches.
Just be happy that I put up with your whole sucking being.
I'm not plastic. I'm just putting up with the bullshit you're showing me.
Posted by subjunctive at 04:39 AM in Cerebral Hygiene |
November 1st, 2009
falling in love with your best friend
Falling in love with your best friend....
Yes, it’s inevitable. You spend so much time together, you can talk about anything, and you know each other’s secrets. You buy each other things, “just because I know you’ll like that.” You’re always there for each other. Sooner or later, at least one of you would fall in love with the other.
We know it’s extremely difficult, especially when you really have so much fun together and—admit it—he’s attractive. But it is possible to not ever be romantically involved with your male bestfriend. It is usually advisable to keep things that way, too. So here are a few tips to help prevent you from crossing the line.
1. Keep in mind that your best friend will always be your best friend. The “mind over matter” rule might still work for you, writes Anna Lorraine Miranda-baysa in “How Not To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend.” Forbid yourself from entertaining thoughts of your best friend being the man you’ve been waiting for, because you will eventually convince yourself that he is—even if he probably is not. Whenever your mind wanders dangerously close to that line, give yourself a good, firm shake.
2. Decide not to be attracted. In fact, try to feel embarrassed about even considering it. Of course you became friends because you saw a lot of great qualities in each other that made you click, that’s why it’s inevitable to feel attracted to each other. But to avoid falling for his great qualities, humorously think of his worst traits—especially the really weird and gross ones.
Know all the negative consequences falling in love would have on your precious friendship.
3. Avoid situations where you are left alone with each other, “as this allows a breeding place for passion.”
4. Know all the negative consequences falling in love would have on your precious friendship. Crossing the line could only bring disappointment for both of you and change your friendship forever. According to “Why You Shouldn’t Take The Next Step with Your Best Friend,” , whenever you feel yourself falling, ask yourself these questions: “Would he be a suitable match for me? Is there a future for us? Am I attracted to my best friend sexually? What are my real reasons? Am I afraid to be alone? Am I willing to risk losing the friendship?” Know that when you risk falling for a friend, you risk not just getting your heart broken but also ruining one of your most cherished friendships when things don’t work out.
5. Choose to love him as your best friend. Or as a brother, if you must. Know that you would be willing to do anything for him, care for him, and love him like a true brother, even if he’s not family. And be comforted that he would do the same for you. But decide not to throw romantic and sexual thoughts into the equation. “It’s a decision, not merely an emotion,” writes Anna. Appreciate that rare solid friendship you have formed with him and keep yourself from losing it just because of selfish, uncontrolled feelings.
Do you have a male best friend? How did you keep yourself from falling in love with him?
Posted by ligalig at 07:10 PM |
