Metaphorically Monday ...

Metaphorically Monday, I have taken the first few steps away from a dark episode in my life. I have breathed the air and despite the lingering ghost of loneliness that has been my companion all these months, I feel better … “bikhair al hamdo lilla” …

Although the recuperation process has but taken days, it seems that the few people I have shared my “work-life” here in Qatar are new acquaintances. Their “hello’s” and “good morning’s” seem distant … tunnel vision … like voices detached from their bodies. I am suddenly acutely aware of their movements, their conversations and unfortunately … even their smells.

I have gone back to my normal routine of work-home-work-sleep yet somehow … It all feels new to me. It’s quite amusing, actually, how it so closely resembles daydreaming, yet not.

I know I have disappointed more people than I intended by splashing my emotions over my blogsite … I also know that I have inadvertently hurt my son when he came across this website and read my entries (I’m sorry, buddy). I know that in my healing process I have been unpredictable and a jerk … uncompromisingly stubborn and unbelievably dense. I do not justify these actions by an apology … rather, I prefer to say “Thank you” …

Thank you for bearing with me … thank you for your concern … even thank you for berating the bejeezus out of me. It takes all this to make a grown man realize that selfishness has no place on this road that he has chosen.

It is Monday … metaphorically so, on a Sunday …

… z …

Posted by tuliro at 01:06 PM | 3 comments

JUNE in QATAR

My job demands that I leave the “comfort” of the office to meet clients. Normally, I would cherish the experience, looking forward to the drive to and from wherever the potential customer decides to meet … to exchange wits with the ever-shrewd and oft-philosophical buyer. At times I would even roll down the car window and allow the occasional breeze and June rain, caress my face while in transit.

 That was then … that was there …

 The Qatari customer is no-less shrewd despite his overflowing wealth, nor is he in lack of wit … my business trysts hence, are no-less exciting. The change, however, lies in the weather. Qatar is extremely hot … and bound to be hotter. As I walk towards the car, the 46-degree Celsius heat extinguishes any lingering coolness of the office air-conditioning in my clothes … the sudden change in temperature threatening to overwhelm me. Opening the window does not help, as the wind carries a temperature just as intense as the fevered air around it. There is no cool breeze, nor is there the June drizzle I used to love … only this … heat and sand … lots of both.

 … Z …

Posted by tuliro at 05:35 PM | 1 comments

Ironic Qatari Law

I haven’t developed the habit of reading the news here in the Gulf, preferring my silent existence of work-home-work than having to worry about how good or bad the economy is doing as, it really has no direct effect on me. The economy may be at its all time high and more construction is bound to build this desert country into the next Dubai but truthfully? … until they do something about expatriate laws … then it is really worth shit to me.

 Out of sheer curiosity, however, the headline of the “Daily Gulf Times” caught my attention as it read “Council seeks re-entry ban of five years.” See, the existing law provides that any individual who resigns from a current job and returns to his country of origin is banned from returning to Qatar within two years. This is, they say, a deterrent for people who are tempted to shift to other jobs when offered better salaries and benefits. Furthermore, that this protects the sponsors who have spent money in bringing the employee into the country.

 Let’s look at the unsuspecting employee for a moment here … Jose comes to Qatar with promises of salaries and benefits. He later learns of the huge gap in salary between himself and his Arabic colleague who has no other advantage over him except for knowing the language. He then learns that Pedro and Felipe are employees of the same company and have been working there for 10 plus years without being promoted and with very minimal salary increment. With this dark future looming in the horizon … he inquires … alas, he learns that he needs a “release” or No Objection Certificate (NOC) from his sponsor should he decide to resign to look for other options. His passport is held by his sponsor, to leave the country he needs an exit permit … and to top it off … he cannot return to Qatar for two years. If he decides to resign from his current job, his contract stipulates that he has to pay everything his sponsor has spent for him including his air fare back to his country of origin. Now … back to the topic.

 The council is seeking a law to better protect the sponsor … protection from what? … losing employees? … the Qatari laws are already anti-expatriate and one of the most self-serving in the history of mankind. Despite the outer sheen of technological advancement and economic boom, the country’s laws are just the opposite. Instead of following the footsteps of Dubai and Bahrain that boast the best expatriate talent that money can buy, they scrimp on crumbs and enforce laws that drive these talents away.

 It’s ironic, as one of the Emir’s five-point course towards “Qatar National Vision 2030” states that it needs to look into the “Quality of the expatriate manpower required for ther various projects”.

 Have I made the right decision in coming here? … I’m starting to think not …

 … z …

Posted by tuliro at 08:25 PM | 1 comments

The Mathematics of My Life

One, two, three, four …

Math plays a significant role in my life as it inspires me to believe in truth, for what can be more absolute and sincere than the knowledge that one and one is two? Forget the apathetic incongruous clichés that two become one or that one man and a woman equals three (including the baby).

One, two, three, four … the basic arithmetic progression of numbers where a number succeeds another by a factor of one … unity, followed by the war between good and evil, then by the triangle characterized as peace after war and finally, the quaternary symbolizing totality … the perfect 10.

I was distracted … protracting the trivial experience expounding it into something traumatic and unbearable … looking too closely at each individual  cells and not appreciating the wonder as a whole. I lingered … in man’s desperate race towards perfection, I have inadvertently been sidetracked by emotion and contemplation … to peevishly lash at the breeze that blows the wrong way. The unpardonable sin of asking the perpetual query of the desperate, “…why me?” has decimated my logic and placed misery in its place …

There is a finite and explicit sequence of events in my life, as there may also be in yours, my reader. Some just stay too long in number two … and forget that the triad, or number three follows, before we reach the self-perceived flawlessness of our existence.

One, two, three, four …

… z …

Posted by tuliro at 01:36 PM | 3 comments